Adoring the devil's breath -- The earth with a fence around it -- It takes the hair right off your bean -- The golden age of malarkey -- "Shall we just have a cigarette on it?" -- The filter tip and other placebos -- The anguish of the Russian count -- Grand inquisitors -- Marlboro mirage -- Three-ton dog on the prowl -- Stroking the sow's ear -- Let there be light -- Breeding a one-fanged rattler -- The heights of arrogance -- The calling of Philip Morris -- Of dragonslayers and pond scum -- Chow lines -- Melancholy Rose -- Smooth characters -- Blowing smoke.